Tehran- shiraz - yazd - esfahan - Tehran
I could have written about Persepolis, about the glory of VIP buses or the constant and limitless kindness of everyday Iranians that drove me to renew my visa and stay for an extra two weeks.
Instead, here´s a customisable letter for use by touring cyclists. I wrote it specifically about my time in Central Asia and Iran, but hope that you can use it for any country. Just circle the most appropriate option.
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A Cyclıst’s Open & Customisable Letter to Drivers Around the World
Dear Driver, / To the Accused, / Hey Arsehole,
______________ sure is some country. I mean, wow, it certainly is beautiful / interesting / just what you deserve / a region legally identifiable as a distinct entity in political geography , and I feel very lucky to have seen /left / survived . I particularly enjoyed the architecture / scenery / food / that thing you do with the goat .
Specifically, I was there as a cyclist. In order to list my appreciation / explain your country’s reputation as ‘The new India but worse’ / show Jesus how forgiving I am / begin the process of litigation , I am writing about my experiences on a bike.
Firstly, thanks for your consideration. Riding the side of busy roads isn’t always fun. It sure helped when you gave me a wide margin / kept the drinking to a minimum / treated my rear reflector like a matador’s cape / sounded your horn to alert me to your presence when you were already besides me . Top stuff.
Thanks too for your friendliness. A large reason for travelling is to meet new people, and you made an impression. It often took my breath away that people like you were willing to offer me food and tea / triple-tap a 150 decible horn greeting 30 cm from my head / enquire about my state as I crawled up a steep hill under baking sun / cross two empty lanes just to get closer even though you were already busy driving at 140 km/hr . Incredible. Only in the country you call home.
I sure did learn plenty about driving in my time in your country. Where I’m from, strict traffic laws raise revenue and dampen creative driving. I only wish more of my countrymen understood—as you clearly do—that the alternative is much, much worse / signalling only insults others’ intelligence / vans grow more stable with speed / driving’s a bloodsport you’re expected to play .
If I could suggest just one thing, it would only be that you keep up the great work / don’t give up on that driver’s license / put your donkey in the driver’s seat and take its reigns and cart / die in a fire .
It’s funny. Before I left on this trip, some friends and family were a little worried. Even I didn’t know exactly what might happen. Then I met you, and in an instant, so many of my anxieties / hopes / bike components and panniers / bones were shattered. Thanks to your driving, I look forward to reccomending your country as a great destination to bike tourers / recommending your country as a great destination to bike tourers I don’t like / returning with a vehicle bigger and heavier than yours / years of costly therapy .
In looking back on my time in your country, I’ll finish with what I told my family when I returned: ¨"How was it? I don’t regret / see / feel / remember a thing."
Yours sincerely / Take care / Go and get a license / Have you died in that fire yet? ,
- _______________
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haha brilliant!
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